WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS?

what would you rate it? Do you think its good? Or do you think it sucks? Be truthful, please.

The seventeen years that I have lived through have been filled with love, happiness and the hope of living the best life I could imagine. But I guess when you loose someone very close to you all of that disappears leaving you with nothing more than the sickening emotions of anguish, depression and the hatred toward yourself. The gut wrenching feeling that I felt right now was so immortally pungent it made me want to burn on a stake and be served at a thanksgiving dinner. I cupped my face in my shaking hands and tried to clear out the thoughts that were thrashing angrily against the sides of my already aching head. It was no use, the memories were as fresh as they were when I had actually witnessed the event, and they had no intention in leaving. Great. I thought. As if seeing it first hand wasn’t bad enough. The chair I was sitting in gave a small creak, and made me jump back to reality. The thoughts of the murder were suddenly replaced with something even more hurtful, her memory.
All of this was hers. This all belonged to my mother, but everything here were things that she would never be able to touch, hold or see again. This rickety pile of junk which I was now sitting on would never be occupied by the warmth of her nimble body. My pale hand rubbed the arm of the chair as my emerald eyes filled with tears. My back heaved, and my mouth let out toneless moan. “Mother, come back to me,” My eyes closed and her smiling face filled the darkness.
Her blue eyes sparkled with pride and her chestnut hair blew in the cold winter’s breeze. The laugh lines were pulled as her face broke into a heart warming smile. My hand lifted off the chair and grasped the air trying to find the only person who had ever meant anything to me. My eyes reopened and I stared at my empty hands. I looked around the cluttered apartment feeling lonely and scared. I lifted my legs onto the chair and wrapped my arms around them. I rested my head upon my knees and tried fall into the swirling world of sleep.